Mom + Pop Culture on a Candidate
Bruce the Blog
BY BRUCE APAR
MAYOR, PENNYSAVER COMMUNITY
MOM CULTURE: Pop, what did you think of Bubba’s speech?
POP CULTURE: What do you mean, in the locker room?
MC: Pop, how on earth would I get into the locker room of the Democratic National Convention?
PC: I dunno, but aren’t you talking about that lineman Bubba in the Giants-Cowboys game?
MC: When was the last time I watched one of your brain-dead football games, Pop?
PC: I think it was as recently as never?
MC: You got that right, bubba!
PC: Who do you mean then with that Bubba monicker?
MC: No, Monica was a friend of Bubba, but let’s not go there. Anyhoo, who is Bubba other than my favorite president, William Jefferson Clinton!
PC: Well, even though I didn’t vote for him, his eight years is looking pretty good right about now – even to staunch Republicans.
MC: Well, at least they worked with him…
PC: …and got things done.
MC: He rallied the troops but good at the DNC.
PC: Yeah, but so what – so did that young stud Marco Rubio of Florida at the GOP backslap-happy party in Tampa. It’s all a lot of hot air, even when they’re not convening closer to the equator.
MC: Who you gonna vote for, Pop?
PC: Like just about everyone else, it seems, I’ll go with the guy I hate the least.
MC: That’s encouraging.
PC: Don’t blame me. We got two choices. Close your eyes, pick one, hope for the best if your guy wins, expect the worst if the other guy wins.
MC: You’re just a bundle of optimism today, Pop.
PC: Unless you know something the rest of us don’t, should I be doing cartwheels?
MC: Can’t say you should.
PC: These days, no matter which “side” you decide to be on, the political vibes are distressing.
MC: …and depressing.
PC: Precisely. If there’s anyone who still doubts politics at the national level is cynical, opportunistic, hypocritical, flaky and fatuous, compare these two candidates and the public perception of them to a pair of previous Presidential candidates.
MC: How so?
PC: Not long ago, Democrats were mocking and trying to defeat the candidate who had an easy smile, a big-as-Texas personality, athletic and trim … the one you could connect with quickly and feel comfortable hoisting a brew.
MC: George W. Bush!
PC: Correctamundo. Meanwhile, the Republicans in that same election were trying to discredit and beat the guy who was a stiff, elitist, remote business wonk with difficulty connecting to the common citizen.
MC: Al Gore!
PC: Bingo! Give that gal a kewpie doll!
MC: So the moral is …
PC: Politics is a bloodsport.
MC: Bubba said it shouldn’t be.
PC: Like I said, Bubba’s a pretty smart guy … for one of Dem.
MC: Oh, please, spare me your condescending bunch of Gop. He’s smarter than your self-righteous righties, Pop.
POP: Whatever. Point is, it’s not about the person you root or vote for or against. It’s about the uniform he’s wearing.
MC: … or she’s wearing. I have to admit, you’re right — it does depend on whose ox is being gored.
POP: Oh, Mama! Good one. And on that note, let’s hit the barracks. I’m bushed!